Lack of communication in my family

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Lack of communication in my family

Post by Mr Michael on Wed Oct 07, 2015 4:24 pm

Calling all parents!
My teenager doesn't want to talk to my wife and I. She is always on the phone but I don't know who she is talking to... I want to know what is going on in her life, but she doesn't want to let me into her world. What can I do? Do any of you face similar problems? Please help!!!

Mr Michael

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Re: Lack of communication in my family

Post by Mr Tan on Wed Oct 07, 2015 4:48 pm

Hey Mr Michael!
I saw your post and I can't believe I found someone in such a similar predicament as the one I faced just a few months ago. You see, right now your teenager is going through a new stage of her life where she's introduced to many things which were foreign to her in the past, such as peer pressure, hormones and increased emotional activity. And some teens just don't react very well to these things and don't want to share their distress with their parents.
What both you and your wife have to do is firstly to accept that your teenager just isn't willing to share certain aspects of her life. You have to take baby steps to coax her out of her shell. Little acts of kindness such as asking her how her day was after she comes home from school, asking her if she needs help in anything like studies or about friends, will show that you care and make her more willing to share her problems. Don't force her to comply because that will just deter her more from opening up to you. You also have to be ready to listen out to anything she has to say and don't be taken aback if, for example, she shocks you with her most recent relationship experiences. Be a listening ear and give appropriate advice based on your own teenage experiences that can help her.
Note that you can't completely enter her world because every teenager needs his or her me-time, or quality time with friends, yours included. Instead settle for establishing good communication with her on a daily basis by taking those baby steps. That way you'll never completely lose sight of what she's up to and the person she's becoming.
Hope this helps and may you get to talk to your teen once again!

Mr Tan

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Re: Lack of communication in my family

Post by Mrs June Wong on Thu Oct 08, 2015 10:28 am

Hi, Mr Michael!
I faced the same situation as you a few years back. When my teenage daughter entered her adolescent years, she was not willing to talk with me about her school life either. I think this is common as our children enter their adolescent years with a mixture of option and excitement, and sometimes we have difficulties in understanding them as we resist their needs to pull away from the family and independent decisions. As time goes by, there will be conflicts between our children and us, resulting them refuse to talk to us.
I think we should give them freedom and let them establish greater independence from us to better prepare for their future. You and your wife should find time such as dinner time, sit down and talk to your daughter, making them realize that you are supporting them when they are facing changes in life. It will be better if you can make friends with your child instead of being a supervisor. You should try to understand more about young generation and overcome the generation gap on things such as fashion, language and music, etc. Last but not least, you can share more experiences with other parents and learn from them. Hope this helps you!

Mrs June Wong

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Re: Lack of communication in my family

Post by Mrs Annabelle Lee on Thu Oct 08, 2015 10:38 am

Hi Mr Michael!
Not to worry, all the points mentioned by Mr Tan and Mrs Wong has been proven to work, as i used similar method when i faced a similar situation 2 years ago. Now my daughter and I are very close to each other and she loves to go out for dinner with me. Don't lose heart! She will be able to feel your love for you(: Start slowly and I'm sure things will turn out fine in the end(:

Mrs Annabelle Lee

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Re: Lack of communication in my family

Post by Mr Michael on Thu Oct 08, 2015 3:45 pm

Hmmm... after reading all your comments, I think I roughly have an idea of what to do and expect from my teen! Very Happy Thank you all so much for your help!

Mr Michael

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